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I Was Tagged For A Meme?!

So I got an alert that I was tagged, eh? And I kind of miss filling out internet memes. Reminds me of 9th and 10th grade when we always filled out those email surveys. I remember filling one out in 10th grade and making every answer about the boy I had a crush on (my first and only boyfriend) and then my (ex) best friend sent the survey to him and I was mortified!

Anyway. I'm answering your questions rachg82.

1. If you had a choice, what would you like your last words to be before you die?s

I have two scenarios. In the first more morbid way it would be "Fuck you!", assuming I've been murdered. I hope for a more pleasant way to go, however, and would rather it be "I love you" spoken to the person or persons that I love who are with me at the end.

2. Imagine space exploration suddenly becomes feasible. You have the option to travel to a distant Earth-like planet and start fresh (plus hang out with aliens), but it would instantly age you by ten years. Do you go for it?

No. I'm tempted in a lot of ways, just for the sake of exploration, and ten years of aging doesn't seem like a bad payment for that. But I think I'd elect to stay here instead because I wouldn't want to leave my friends or my mom. I need to see through what I've started here, too. It seems like a cheat to start fresh.

3. If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I would probably just watch Mean Girls over and over again.

4. Do you have any phobias? If so, have they changed over time?

I have a phobia of death. When I was younger I was really concerned that I would be murdered and I would sleep in particular positions to avoid fatal injuries if an intruder came in and stabbed me or I would make sure the cover was all the way over me so I'd be harder to see in the dark. I would say things like, "I'll be killed today" because I figured it was less likely to come true if I said it outloud.

Now I'm more concerned about the death of my mom.

I think I have a phobia of loss in particular. I do a lot of self sabotage where I destroy the relationships I have that I find to be particularly meaningful, but I really dread it. I don't like losing people.

5. Let's say someone gives you a time machine. You can only tell your childhood self one thing (e.g. advice, a warning, whatever you want). What is it?

Your body is fine and you aren't ugly. Straighten your shoulders and keep your chin up. These peons may not appreciate you now but one day you'll meet someone who will worship you physically and you'll wonder how you could have ever gone through life feeling so down about yourself.

6. What do you believe the meaning of life is? Or at least the meaning of your life? And no, you can't say "42.

I don't think there's a true meaning of life, know. I think it's up to us to give our lives meanings. It goes back to the second question about moving to a new planet. I want to see things out here. Leave this place better than I found it, if possible. And hopefully have a good time in the in-between.

7. What is your favorite TV show of all time?

This one is hard. Really hard. Do I pick the show I think is objectively the best (Battlestar Galactica)? The show that influenced how I wanted to live my life (Mary Tyler Moore)? The show that best played with my imagination (The X-Files)? The show that lead me to a great fandom of people (The Office)? The shows that finally made me feel included (Xena and Grey's Anatomy)?

I just don't know.

8. You have the chance to meet with Obama before he leaves office & ask him to do one social/political thing for you. What do you request?

Get rid of No Child Left Behind/Race to the Top. Speak out against Common Core. Tie ALL teaching to student loan forgiveness.

9. What's your favorite thing about yourself? Alternatively, what's your least-favorite thing?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I've been spun out and super depressed but one thing that has emerged from the shit show of my life the last few months is actually really positive: I'm now at the point where I'm really disinterested in placating other people by pretending to not think something/feel something/be something. I've been sad and you know what? Fuck you if that makes you uncomfortable. I love who I love, I look how I look, I do what I do, I feel what I feel. And I refuse to feel shame about it anymore, even if I am currently going through a teenage-like kind of phase of acting out and being irresponsible.

I refuse to have a least favorite thing about myself. My life up to this point has been mired in all the things I've hated. A lot of those things still exist but I'm no longer interested in talking about them because I believe most of what we all (and women in particular) dislike or hate about themselves is all in our heads.

10. Do you have an all-time favorite fanfic or fanvid you'd like to recommend to me for any fandom we have in common?

I don't think so? You know what I reread recently? City of Lights. I think it's by Bonetree. X-Files. I had been looking for it forever but didn't know the title or author and stumbled on it. And it was great because it was just solid fucking writing and really strong world building. X-Files is the fandom that introduced me to GOOD fanfiction so I may be biased, but I do think, out of all the fandoms I've been a part of, it's fanfiction fandom was incredibly impressive.

11. Over the course of your lifetime, which musical artist or band have you listened to the most?

This one is hard because it's one of three possible choices: Linda Ronstadt (my mom always had that record on when I was little. I probably knew all of her songs by heart before I knew any nursery rhimes), Madonna (my mom also listened to her all the time and I certainly took to it) or Simon & Garfunkel (I started to listen to them in high school, got really into them in college, and like to listen to them or solo Paul Simon now when I'm in need of some comfort).

Okay. I know I'm supposed to tag people but I dont really know people here anymore. Sorry! But this was a nice walk down meme-ory lane.


I totally agree with you on the quality of fic within the X-Files fandom. It really spoiled me back in the '90s.

Not sure if you still read my journal, but I did write a couple XF fics this summer in case you feel like checking them out.
I've been relatively absent from LJ since my last postings, mostly because my Callie/Arizona communities have been quiet. So I haven't been around. I'll put your stories on my list for the fall when I stop reading books (books are for summer, fanfiction is for the school year).
pretend to think

August 2015



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